i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

Even I confuse myself…

on April 2, 2012

Yes, here I am again bored at work, waiting for the hours to pass by and go home already… killing time by browsing random websites of people or things that randomly came into mind.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking for the longest time about a lot of silly things. Wait, no. How can I say it’s silly if it’s bothering me, right? I guess just by thinking that it’s silly makes me gives me both a clearer, and at the same time, a more confused view.

I have a sort of see-saw emotional nature. Sometimes, I couldn’t care less. Sometimes, I care a lot. I want to have an outlook of a hippie, where everything seems nice and beautiful. A view where everything is within reach and you couldn’t care less about things that doesn’t really matter. Just go with the flow of whatever comes your way.

But at the same time, I also want to be more conscious about a lot of things. Things such as environmental awareness, healthier options in food (but I don’t want to be a food snob at the same time), and be a kind-hearted person.

How can I do both at the same time? Care and not care? And how do I know when and where I should and shouldn’t? I’ve been trying to be conscious about all these things that I want to do, and have been trying to do it. But sometimes, I confuse myself.

Since I left my journal to write to, especially now that I need to “re-analyze” and “think… think… think…” Might as well type it down and reread and reanalyze stuff myself.

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