i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

hopefully not a tragic end

dear blog,

today is one of those days that i feel like i can’t talk to anyone. i know God knows what is in my heart. i tell myself now to just breathe and let go and not think about it too much. it just hurts to know that sometimes, growing apart from a close friend is inevitable if the path you prefer is different. i sincerely want to be happy for them and to support them but i find it so hard in my heart to do so because deep down, i just can’t. i think about it, of actually not thinking about it. i try not to be judgy because i want to be a good friend. but i can’t. it is just so hard. i try to be honest, but i become brutal by doing so. if i shut up, then i become brutal to myself. i am conflicted.

i hope it’s not all lost.

i pray for guidance because i am confused. i am such a bad friend. i don’t think i was ever a good one.



So Little Time, So Much To Do

We all wanna do a lot of things, but usually, we all think about it simultaneously and end up doing nothing. We end up being confused on what to prioritize.

I’ve been thinking of learning new stuff about work. There’s this new (somehow old, actually) technology which we call LTE–4G.

I’ve been thinking of reviewing the materials I got from the training I attended last month. 20+ PDF files and I’ve been down with just 1.

I really wanna push through with fixing and updating my blog, share stories about my recent EuroTrip, dig in my past recollections, my reunion with old friends, meditation and yoga, and much more.

Searching and joining an organization/charity that would fill up my time and make me feel more fulfilled.

Fixing my morning and nightly routine (it has been messed up for as long as I could remember).

Improving my guitar playing.

Cleaning the house that has been messy for months now, and everything in between.

It all boils down to how I’m gonna do it, which one first, and whennnnn???

I guess listing it down (now) would definitely help. Surely I’ve left some thing that would probably ring a bell later on.

Small things, big things. It doesn’t matter. I can’t get anything done. See, I am always distracted and confused. :/

Time Management. I know, that’s my issue.

Before I become at peace with Time, I need to go to a silent war with procrastination and self-distraction (not destruction!).

I am so lax I almost never get things done. I need a change. I guess only I could make it, yeah?

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