i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

hopefully not a tragic end

on October 27, 2012

dear blog,

today is one of those days that i feel like i can’t talk to anyone. i know God knows what is in my heart. i tell myself now to just breathe and let go and not think about it too much. it just hurts to know that sometimes, growing apart from a close friend is inevitable if the path you prefer is different. i sincerely want to be happy for them and to support them but i find it so hard in my heart to do so because deep down, i just can’t. i think about it, of actually not thinking about it. i try not to be judgy because i want to be a good friend. but i can’t. it is just so hard. i try to be honest, but i become brutal by doing so. if i shut up, then i become brutal to myself. i am conflicted.

i hope it’s not all lost.

i pray for guidance because i am confused. i am such a bad friend. i don’t think i was ever a good one.

:(,
kat

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3 responses to “hopefully not a tragic end

  1. What a heartfelt post . . . anyone who is as concerned as you are is a good friend. But we all need to learn when to restrain our words and state our feelings thoughfully, and lots of us get old and never learn that.
    I wish everyone cared to figure it out as much as you, and I also wish I had let a few friendships go early on, when it became apparent that they were the wrong friend. Wish I would have noticed. Not every loss is that tragic when you have so many other things to put your living into.
    Best wishes.

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