i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

Temporarily BUMMING Around: Claiming my reward after a FULL 4Q of 2012, or must I say a blessed 6.5 years of work

on January 16, 2013

A lot has happened over the past few months, since the last time I visited this blog. I haven’t even updated this blog with stuff that I feel I should’ve taken notes of even before my last update!

Anyway, tonight is a good time to start.

The past few months have been really fast, specifically the last quarter of 2012.

September had been a fruitful month of travelling, and having weekend dinner dates or partying with good friends. It was also the time of contract/”market value” haggling with my then-future employer.

Europe 2012 summary

October, well, it was the time of me re-thinking about my career move, granted that I sealed the deal with my then-future employer. Re-thinking because at that time, I’ve already made some sort of 2013 plans that are life-changing in a BIG way for me. October was also the month when I sought for higher guidance from God because I felt a bit lost in my own “new-found” world (I don’t know how I became some sort of a “party-girl” almost always “out and about” on top of my typical dinner or movie weekends). Thus, this was the time I reassessed my routine after realizing that this new lifestyle isn’t for me (to be specific, I prefer to be the boring one. I like being laid back :D).

October

I filled my November with activities such as volunteering for various organizations, visiting galleries, and some long weekend out of town. I’ve been feeling lost and I thought, these activities would put me back on my feet. Somehow, it did. However, November was also the time I had been emotionally exhausted because of having this silent conflict with my BFF. It was then when I realized that the life I am currently living isn’t enough anymore. I was and still am very blessed with a lot of things, but I know that this was the time I had to acknowledge that I shouldn’t procrastinate and deny the things that are missing in my life. This was the time that I had to put on a lot of thinking and have acknowledged that this is the right time that I had to make changes in my life. I have concluded that in order for me to move forward, I have to finally be willing to close this chapter of my book. In simpler terms, pack my things and go, start anew. I had to be courageous to let go of whatever was holding me back. This was the right time and after months/years of procrastination, I did it! That conflict was a blessing in disguise. All that see-saw decision making back in September, just when I thought it was over, had been revisited and re-concluded. 🙂

Sweet November

December came by really quickly. I managed to go to Kathmandu in Nepal and did my first trek EVER (even though I was completely unprepared) and saw the Himalayas from afar–at the top of the Shivapuri Hill! After that weekend, I spent the remaining 2 weeks in Dubai going to work on daytime, packing my stuff at nighttime, yoga classes on Mondays & Wednesdays and having send off dinners/parties  with loved ones in between. Then just in time I arrived here in the Philippines, I went straight to the couturier for the fitting of my gown (I was a bridesmaid after all!). 2 days after that, I attended the wedding.

DECEMBER

Only after Christmas that my time became really relaxed. I just went wherever they planned to go. Ate whatever is available to eat. And of course, slept and watched TV in between. It was the life that I never thought I would experience. On my 3rd week of bumming around, I suddenly thought of finding something to do, like part time online. But I immediately erased that idea because I know that thought would trigger my brain cells and tell me that I NEED TO DO WORK ON SOMETHING NOW, which would eventually lead me to actually start looking for something to do, and stress me out because I can’t find anything to do. Yes, I erased that thought and even if it walks by me from time to time, I try to not acknowledge it. This might sound crazy or even stupid, but I guess now is the time to actually enjoy not doing anything at all. And trust me, it is awesome. After working for the past 6.5 years continuously, this is the break that I need. Though I go on vacations from time to time in the past years, those vacations don’t really involve “not doing anything”. And this is the very first time I actually did it.

I am very much grateful for the past few years of being busy, working and travelling, earning and indulging. I am very grateful for all that. And after quitting my job last year and currently not working, I know I am still very blessed because not everyone is given the opportunity to enjoy sleeping and eating and watching TV without worrying so much about tomorrow. I know I would eventually feel the need to start moving again, but for now, I appreciate this kind of lifestyle. 🙂

Once I start my 2013 plan and complete it, then I will start to get back on my feet and hopefully go back to the jungle. AYAYAYAYAY!!!

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