i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

I Want to be the Best Version of Me.

on July 29, 2013

Just a short one.

This past few days, I’ve been thinking, dreaming of the things that I want to do once I am able to do it (I am currently recovering from a spine surgery). It mainly focuses on travelling. Next is possibly studying, and then hopefully getting a job. Oh and community service.

Over the past few weeks, I realized that I might not be the kind of person who works best with a family. In short, I don’t think I like the idea of being in charge at home, of being reliable, of adapting from being independent and selfish to being a household family person.

That’s another story.

Reading blogs over the past few days made me reassess my bucketlist. Mine’s a weird and funny one, relatively compared to most that I’ve read. And then I thought, I want to be the best version of me.

To tell you quite frankly, I want to eventually take part on a mission, to do good will once I am set to go and venture the world. But then again, charity begins at home.

I am going around right now, opening new topics and saying bits and pieces of myself.

Back to my thinking… so last night, as I lay in bed at 3 am, I’ve concluded that I have to give myself a month of being the best version of me:

Of being the most selfless me at home.

Of being the most reliable me at home.

Of being the most loving daughter and most understanding sibling.

Of being the funniest and sociable extended family.

Of being the least sarcastic conversationalist.

Of smiling more.

Of not dwelling.

I want to be the best version of me right now. And a month may seem short, but being the usual unreliable, lazy, smart alleck, opinionated family member such as myself, each day could be a challenge.

I’ve always complained of how annoyed I am with my father. But in reality, I’ve got some of his bad habits and I can’t deny it. This is one of the reasons that made me realize (and accept the possibility) of just being an “individual” and not submit to the social norm of adapting to a family.

This is the time for me to overcome it, while I am still allowed to do so.

Now that I am living at home with the rest of my immediate family, it’s time to submit myself to what the situation presents.

Although I might not be the worst person in the world, I want to be a better one. I always pray for that, and now is the time to overcome and be the best me.

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