i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

Allowing myself to feel today.

on August 1, 2015

Time and again, I allow myself to feel. I acknowledge the myriad of feelings that want to burst out from my heart, whether it be the over-the-top-kind-of-happiness, or the drowning-to-the-bottom-kind-of-loneliness. All these emotions, I acknowledge and allow.

We have the right to feel and it is healthier to acknowledge it and to allow ourselves to feel. No matter how painful it is.

But that’s not the end of it. I also have to allow myself to put back the pieces of myself when I am very down. I can’t say that I am successful to date, but that doesn’t matter. Because right now, I know that I am evolving, and I know that I am still a work in progress.

I wish I could wake up tomorrow and say I am content, I am happy, I am complete, and I live a full life. But that remains to be seen and known tomorrow.

Today, I feel sad, even lonely. I feel incomplete and confused as to where my life is headed. And today, I feel heartbroken not by someone but by fate. That is how I feel today.

Some days I feel hopeful, some days I feel that I have been treated unfairly by fate. But all in all, I am feel grateful with the things that I have.

I can’t say that I wish I knew how things are when tomorrow comes. Because I am also scared if I don’t like it. I can only hope that things are better.

We have the right to feel. We should acknowledge and allow ourselves. But at the same time, we should also pull ourselves up when we are down. What we’re not allowed to do is to let struggle take over us. Not to let fear overtake our lives. We may feel scared, lonely, and resentful. But we should not let ourselves suffer by our emotions. Not let the situation take over our lives. There is always a silver lining and we should try to look for it. If we can’t find it yet, then we have to keep moving forward and remind ourselves that we are strong. Maybe at that point we aren’t. We can acknowledge that too but we have to keep in mind that at some point we were and that shall come out again. Or better yet, think that this phase will only make us better and stronger.

Point is, we have to acknowledge and allow ourselves to feel. But we can’t allow our misery to keep us from moving forward.

Tomorrow, maybe I can be happier. But today, this day… I acknowledge that I am not. Today, I will fix my application to travel. Today, I will talk and have a more meaningful conversation. Today, I have written again. Then atleast now I can say that tomorrow, I am a step ahead from where I was yesterday.


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