i won't worry my life away

confronting thoughts and embarking on different adventures, one moment at a time

I Want to Remember This Day, When I’ve Discovered Fleetwood Mac

I wanna remember this moment. This moment that I am sooo caught up with Fleetwood Mac.

Quite frankly, I haven’t heard of them in the past. I’ve heard of the rendition of their song “Dreams” and of Stevie Nicks occasionally. Haven’t really put much thought to it. Not until I came out from a self-induced coma of reading a lot of romantic ebooks. Yes. It ate my time and energy away. You see, i have addictive tendencies, and once I start, I just can’t seem to stop! Whether it be a book, a tv series (I always do marathons), eating, and talking. Maybe if there’s weed around (thankfully there isn’t! I’ve only tried it twice in Amsterdam back in 2011 and I must say, I walked on clouds)? HAH. Who knows?

Back to Fleetwood Mac.

In one of the books I’ve read, the writer has referenced a lot of old music. At some point, she referenced the song Landslide as of the songs being sung by one of the books characters in the most heartfelt way possible. I could only imagine if I actually knew what the song was.

And then I knew. And then I knew the band. And then I knew their other songs.

Not to say that Stevie Nicks was the face… but no wonder she’s been referenced in at least one film that I could remember (the one where Joan Cusack sang in School of Rock). And no wonder I loved Dreams the first time I’ve heard of it.

And I love Fleetwood Mac. I wanna remember today. Although I’ve only been listening to their Greatest Hits album for two days straight since I’ve had it, I can’t help but feel quite overwhelmed. Goodness, I wanna dance to their music. I wanna sway my head and stomp my feet, sway left and right and then just close my eyes.

So far my favorites are The Chain, Don’t Stop, Gypsy, Little Lies, Think About Me, Landslide, and basically almost all of their songs in the album that I currently have. What can I say?

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When Music Has Touched My Soul: Saying Thank You to Jason Mraz

You know your life has changed when someone has touched your soul.

Jason Mraz did, and I just had the most surreal experience to date.

As most of you know (or, don’t know), I am a huge fan of Jason Mraz. I can’t say that I am his biggest fan. Though I’ve known his music for quite some time, it was only last year that I really had a deeper connection to his songs. His songs has touched me on a level in which I was saved the moment that I needed to be, and I didn’t even know that it was happening. With a butterfly effect, I know that my life has changed forever (ask me about it, and I’ll tell you my story).

Jason Mraz

Jason Mraz went to Manila last year and I had to miss it because of the situation that I am in at that moment. After some reassessment, I knew that I can’t always be impulsive and waiting for the next strike would be the best fit. And so, when I found out that he was playing at the Dubai Jazz Festival on the 23rd of February, I knew that it was something that I can’t miss.

Being his fan, by default my preference of seats would be the front. But as I have company, I could settle anywhere, for as long as I am there, it doesn’t really matter. Watching him perform live is already a bonus for me… That man whose words has touched my soul, I couldn’t be happy enough.

As days went closer to the concert day, I’ve got this urge to see him, meet him in person. I really wanted to see him to thank him personally for helping me through his music. It’s hard to explain (but thinking of how grateful I am makes me teary-eyed… just like now while I’m typing this). Nooooo, I can’t be that fan-girl who cries because she’s a fan. But I guess, if someone has really helped you get through to something, if someone has touched your soul, if someone has helped you overcome your own negative vibes, and if someone has influenced you not to worry your life away (by nature, i am a BIG worrier), then crying as a fan-girl should be acceptable. These things, these are the reason why I wanted to meet him. I wanted to tell him, thank him personally for inspiring me.

February 21, 2012, I went to pickup the tickets that we bought at the Chillout Productions office. Though they said that I could just get it at the venue, I decided to just go anyway, because I prefer having physical tickets in my hands beforehand (I was very excited), plus the fact that I don’t want any more hassle prior to the show.
The staff at their office were Filipino. While waiting, I tried to make a conversation by asking them if there was a Meet and Greet with Jason Mraz, telling them that I am a big fan. I already had a plan even before asking them (I was planning to go to the hotel and wait for him at the lobby to have my own meet and greet), but I asked anyway. They were all really nice. Though they haven’t given me the exact details, they were really helpful enough and I was encouraged. They even referred me to a guy who might be able to help me see Jason.

Tips such as writing a letter to their office for M&G inquiry, arrival time range, and a contact person were really very encouraging.This may look crazy & even stalker-ish, but no that wasn’t my intention. All I want is to meet him and thank him personally. I have then made a set of “plans” of my own since there aren’t any M&G contests that I know of at the moment. I had Plans A-D. Plan A was scratched off immediately because I am a “Little Ms. Late”. Plan B was the most feasible for me, while Plan C was just a backup. I had Optional plans that I didn’t consider much because I was really aiming for Plan B.

I prayed really hard for me to meet and greet Jason Mraz, and it’s perfectly clear how I wanted it to be. I want to meet him, talk to him for a bit, tell him how grateful I am (a card is essential because I knew that I might be dumbfound & possibly rushed), and of course, the typical fan-thing: a hug and a picture). I prayed with all my heart and thought about these things at the same time. I knew I had to see him and haven’t really thought about failing. I was mostly focused on Plan B.

I browsed online on different Facebook pages of the event’s sponsors to check out if there were any contests. I joined at the contest of MyDubaiMyCity.com hoping to win a Meet and Greet. Front row tickets be a great bonus, of course. I had a great feeling about this though. I always get that gutt feeling.

February 22, 2012, my Plan A failed. I was glad that I didn’t push through with it though, because apparently, he arrived 2 hours later than the schedule that I knew. Plan A.1 failed too, because it was Ash Wednesday and of course, especially at times like this, I put God first, and the rest to follow.

(Off topic, I went through fasting and abstainance this Ash Wednesday wherein the only full meal I had was dinner at past 10pm — took it after mass, after running through bad traffic).

I also joined the contest in Dubai Festival City’s FB page, in which you’d participate in a raffle by answering 10 questions. At first, the application wasn’t working. Then thankfully, Jill posted the link in her wall and I was able to open the page. I was really very hopeful for this, but since this is an electronic raffle (I assume), then I can’t be too sure.

On a side note, I know that I’d do anything to personally thank Jason. So, whatever happens, I am set to meet him.

Nothing really eventful happened that day. Just as I was about to doze off, I checked MyDubaiMyCity’s FB wall and at around 1 am, they posted that I WON FRONT ROW TICKETS. O.O

Since I kenw that my roommate Jill was still awake, I whispered: “Jill, I think I just won front row tickets.” O.O We were both really surprised and happy. But there was a bit of a dilemma: I invited several friends and one of them who was going only knows me and Jill, thus, if I take Jill with me at the front row, I would need to ditch her–not really my kind of thing!

February 23, 2012, I was late for work which isn’t a surprise anymore. After half an hour of settling in, I got a call from my new friend telling me the time of Jason’s sound check. He offered to take me to the hotel and wait for him to pass by on his way to the venue (no, I can’t come in at the venue). I hesitated at first, but then again, I thought about the moment… Something came into me and thought of that significant story about defining our future by how we act at the moment in front of us. After being reminded of such, I thought: “what the heck! I’m going.” For all I know, I might not see him. He might not even be there doing his own soundcheck. Oh darn! I don’t have my camera with me. I didn’t even bring my CD. My attire wasn’t even pretty enough. I was not prepared at all.

Just a few minutes before leaving, I decided to write him my gratitude letter. It was the only thing in my plan that I could do at the moment. I haven’t found a card earlier so I just got a piece of paper and poured in. I know I still haven’t said enough, but I guess that would do for now. I wrote that letter because I know that when I see him, I might be lost for words. I know that the limited time won’t allow me to explain further. I know that writing a letter is the best way to express how I felt at that moment. It was necessary for me to give it to him.

As we drove along, things have been playing in my mind. I knew that what I was doing was very spontaneous. It was rad! Minutes after our arrival, the team finally walked through the entrance/exit. I saw Jason Mraz with his team pass by, 3 meters away from him. I instinctively followed, a bit hesitant to call him, as I don’t wanna get in trouble or anything. I called Mona first instead. I said, “Hi Mona!” Mona stopped, looked and was a bit surprised. It caught Jason’s attention too. He stopped too. Then I said “Hi Jason!”I’m gonna be at your show later. I’m so excited, I can’t wait.” I was really nervous and I tried my hardest to keep my composure. I can’t remember if I told him that I’m a huge fan, but I think I did. Somewhere in between, Jason and I hugged. He was very very warm. (I actually tried to record the audio of the conversation, but it seems like I accidentally didn’t–oh how marvelous my phone
is!).

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Jason Mraz, Myself and Mona Tavakoli

From what I could recall, Jason thanked me (in advance) for attending the show and said he couldn’t wait too, and he was excited to play and looking forward to it (or me being there). I handed Jason my letter and told him that I wrote it all down because I knew in advance that I won’t be able to speak to him clearly. I told them that I am trying to keep my composure and I am very nervous. They both said that I was doing a great job at it. (I still can’t believe how surreal that was!).

Jason held my letter and thanked me. I asked him and Mona if we could take a picture and they graciously said yes, told me to stay in the middle. I instinctively handed my phone to my friend (after checking if my phone works–yes I was dumbfound at that time!), and we got the picture. Jason and Mona asked me to check the picture if it was captured, just to make sure. I said yes and thanked them both. Jason and I hugged again and it was really touching for me. I asked Mona for a hug too and then I said goodbye to the both of them.

Everything was surreal and I am still in the state of being overwhelmed about what had just happened. I did not expect for that to happen at all.

An hour or so after my arrival at work (I was MIA for more than 2 hours–acted like I just had a long lunch break), I got an email from Dubai Festival City asking me for my mobile number asap, telling me that I was included in the raffle for the meet and greet. It somehow made me giddy, as I toyed with the idea of winning another contest for Jason Mraz’s show. I actually had a hunch already just before lunch, because I, together with another person, was asked in their FB page to give them my email
address. I was hopeful but really unexpecting already, because since I wrote my email address through a comment which is publicly seen, it could be just anybody too, toying around.

I was still decided to push through with my Plan B. I want my CDs signed and I want to see Jason actually signing it. I just want to have another moment with him.

At around 4pm, I felt my heart beat faster than the usual… I was feeling nervous. I thought, maybe Jason was already reading the letter that I gave him. The thought of that was even more nerve-wracking!

Just an hour before I left for work, after concluding the dilemma of the front row tickets (I’ve decided to bring Shylla instead), I got a call from a nice arab lady telling me that I won the Meet and Greet for Jason Mraz. I couldn’t believe it. I mean, seriously? What happened?I honestly told her that I didn’t know if I won. I told her that I just got an email saying that I am included in the raffle. Nothing more. I even asked her if I won standing room seats because I wasn’t sure what the prize was (I didn’t wanna imply anything). I asked her if and she said something like: “Oh, you did not know that you won the Meet and Greet? Oh habibi, you won the Meet and Greet and the VIP tickets to Jason Mraz.” O.O

I wasn’t sure what had just happened. What good have I done? No, I am not questioning the blessing and the luck combined at all. I was just overwhelmed by the things that are happening to me. I am very grateful to God for answering my prayers and giving me the opportunity, way better than what I’ve prayed for.

I gladly and excitedly told my friends about it. But then again, I can never be too sure. Unless I get the tickets, only then I could be sure that it wasn’t a fraud. Only then shall I cross out Plan B and obviously, Plan C.

We arrived at the concert venue some time around 8. I’ve been thinking of who to call first, if I should call the lady of DFC or the guy from MyDubaiMyCity.com. Shall I call the VIP+M&G first or the Front Row tickets? I can’t even decide too which seats shall I take.

I called the lady of DFC first. She told me that she was just about to call me. I had to get in by 8:45 pm so that they could take me to the room where the meet and greet was going to happen, which would take place by 9:15. Oh My GOD! This is really happening. After our phone call, I instantly called MYMC for the front row tickets. He said that they would be back in around 45 minutes, which doesn’t really give me the time to pick it up before 8:45.

Time flew by so fast and I decided to take Jill with me to the Meet and Greet and both of us couldn’t really believe what was happening and what was about to happen. We waited, patiently. I finished writing at the card that I bought (I thought it was more proper to give him a card, but I was already lost for words by that time, thinking that in a few minutes, I get to meet him again).

Meet and Greet

We were then asked to go inside the room. In a few minutes, Jason Mraz stepped in. He approached and talked to those who were inside, one person/group at a time. I told Jill to move back so that we could be the last one. We were the last one. I recorded the audio and I still couldn’t believe everything. I tried to be normal, to be composed the best way I could. I tried to make my brain work. At some point, it did, but obviously, it crashed too!

As we approached Jason, we hugged the moment I said “Hi Jason.” I gave him my card, explaining to him that I thought it was more appropriate to give him a card too (apart from the letter). I gave him my CDs, and Jason said “Do you want me to sign this for you, Katrina?”. I was surprised. Jill said “Oh you now know her name” and I joked around “yes, I’m cool like that.” After a few pictures, brief (and me being dumbfound in the) conversation, we were “almost” done. The conversation among the three of us was really spontaneous (but you can hint how nervous I was). Once Jason signed our stuff and had the picture taken with us, we were hinted that we were done.

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Jason Mraz just got in the room, photo by Jill/roommie

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Just handed something to Jason, Jill can't stop grinning. Photo by Jill

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"Do you want me sign this for you, Katrina?" Photo by Jill

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Jason signing my CD, Jill is very happy! Photo by Jill

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Rania, the lady who was in charge guided us very nicely for our way out by asking Jason for the lady photographer to also have a picture taken with him and hinting us that our time was up. I hesitated and asked that I want one more hug from Jason. Rania nicely joked that she could give me a hug instead. We hugged, but still I patiently waited for the lady photographer and Jason’s picture to be over.

I prepped my camera and asked Jill to take a photo. I asked Jason again for another hug and he graciously gave me one. I enhaled deeply and closed my eyes. He smelled really good. Very natural, very fresh. His scent reminded me of how connected he is with the world and it is very refreshing. That was the moment, one of the warmest and most memorable seconds of my life. I am very grateful for that.

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Priceless

I said goodbye for the nth time and thanked him for the nth time too. I was still in disbelief of what had just happened. Jill and I made a last song request, hopeful and a bit expectant.

Jill and I went out still overwhelmed by everything. I looked for the guy from MYMC to claim the front row tickets. Shylla, Jill, Ellen and I went inside, all together this time. I felt really bad, having Shylla and Ellen wait for us outside (since I didn’t have the ticket yet before Jill and I disappeared for the M&G). Shylla really sounded pissed and at that time when we were gone for the M&G, there wasn’t really anything I could do.

Moving on, I had my post-fan-girl video interview for DFC and then I went on with my friends to watch the show.

The show started by 10:30pm. Jason Mraz and Mona Tavakoli graced the stage with their presence and delivered really well. We were in the “Front Row Area” but our seats were already at the last row, on one side of the stage. My view of the stage was at a 45 degree angle which wasn’t that bad at all. I was in the zone of being mesmerized with the music and words being played that night. There were opportunities for me to move forward and take a 12 o’clock photo of Jason and Mona, but I didn’t take it immediately, as I was waiting for them to play “If It Kills Me.” In my mind, I wanted to stand up and take that shot when I am in the “zone”–wherein they’re playing my perfect love song while I, together with the rest of the fans, are singing. Only then, when that full connection, will I be in the zone.

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I really enjoyed just being there in my seat, feeling the love, the warmth, being present in the moment while they were playing on stage. I was at peace from where I was at. It wasn’t necessary for me to move and jump around for excitement and go crazy anymore. I was content, and that was the happiness that I was looking for. I honest-to-goodness really couldn’t ask for more. It was perfect.

When they started playing The Remedy, I knew that I had to stand up. I asked Shylla to join me. She was a bit hesitant but then she did. Most of the people stood up too. At first, someone from the middle row was asking us to sit down. But upon seeing that most in our area were already up, I ignored.

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That was their supposed last song. They left the stage, and after much demand for an encore, Jason and Mona went back out and played I’m Yours.

The show ended with I’m yours which lasted for about 9 minutes. How I wish it did not end. Jason played really well wish such an amazing vocals, superb guitar playing, and spontaneous improvisation. It was very surreal.

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Luckily won the Front Row Seats and the VIP w/ M&G

I wish I aslo stood up too at the start of the show… What if Jason sees me in the crowd? Would there be a surprise or a shoutout or something? I don’t know… But I remember that at that point when I was watching the show, I was at peace and very content with where I was at. My heart found the right place and I was grateful and happy. How can I ask for more, granted that I was very blessed already? I mean, it was the night!I wish they played the song If It Kills Me, Sleep All Day, and I’ll Do Anything… Songs which had been played a million times on my playlist continuously. I wasn’t disappointed, I just wished… But overall the show is definitely awesome! I guess it’s something that I would look forward to the next time around. For sure, there’ll be a next time.

I also wish that I asked him about the project he’s been working on when he mentioned it. I wasn’t able to react because my brain died at this time. Now this is a conversation that I should take up upon him the next time around. I just hope he could still remember me next time.

Conclusion

I am still in disbelief of this surreal experience.  I was very lucky, fortunate, blessed to have friends come with me to the show, to have won 2 pairs (in 2 different occasions by different sponsors in less than 24hours), watch Jason Mraz perform live, and of course to finally have met him in person.

I am overwhelmed and very grateful for the impact of his music in my life, and much more grateful to our God that he answered my prayers of personally thanking Jason for his contribution in helping my heart and soul be at a better place. I don’t know how long this hungover will last (and I know that being hungover means probably being depressed or sad at times that it’s all over and I would want more… or just becoming totally insanely happy about everything which would make me look forward to the brighter future ahead!). Did that really happen? I suppose yes. And it was amazing.

I don’t know if Jason would keep the token I’ve given him, or remember me afterwards. I hope he does and I hope that somehow, I’ve also touched his soul and and brought his heart peace and happiness, returning the favor he has subconsciously done to me. But whether or not this happens, I am and will always be grateful, because the moment it all started, I was forever changed.

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When “Sleep All Day” Meant More

Can I make this my anthem for this 2012 AD? 🙂

The first time I’ve heard of this song a few years ago, I just thought it was okay. I don’t have any strong memory of how I felt about this song years ago… Well, it isn’t a single anyway, so no wonder it didn’t really get stuck in my head or something just like other released singles.

Okay, so last year I somehow re-stumbled to Jason Mraz’s songs. Maybe because he had a show in Manila that I wasn’t able to go to? Or maybe, it was fate. If you’re gonna read these posts, you’d find out that his music has somehow helped me have a lighter, more freeing outlook in life. It’s hard to explain, but listening to his music just makes me a bit light headed (in a good way)–the music itself soothes my mood… Much more when I really listen to the words behind the tunes… an inside joke meant that I feel I am on a “high”. And an even better description would be: me not worrying away (yah know!)– the “hippie” feeling, as what i call it. Hippie High?

Now, Sleep All Day. When I got myself the chance to listen to Jason’s songs again, I played this song instantly. Not sure why but upon reading the song title, I felt like it has a connection or a memory or something like that–like I’ve already heard of it and it’s familiar. When I listened to it this time around, I really liked it. Since then, it’s just there in my playlist.

Before saying what I think of the meaning itself, I tried to re-read the lyrics and also somehow googled the song meaning. The latter sort of just messed with me! Hehe… I’ll just stick to what I feel it means to me.

For me it’s about thinking of doing something, for the reason that it had to be done. But instead, rather than doing whatever it is, you just do what you feel like doing at that exact moment! In this case, it meant “sleeping all  day”. Not worrying about what others may think of what he’s doing, he just went and go for it… Taking it all easy, but at the same time, keeping in mind of making things greater in doing it, making the most out of it.

Whether the “sleep” is a metaphor for fun, sleeping with someone, or just the true sleep (nap), for me what “sleep all day” truly says is to allow ourselves to have the time of doing whatever makes us happy at that exact moment, without worrying about anything at all, and making the most out of it (–in which I think the line “if all is grounded you should go make a mountain out of it” fits perfectly).

So, there you have it folks. The song that supported the kick off of my 2012 AD!

“Why don’t we sleep all day?”

xx,

kat

PS. Let’s all live in the moment the moment it happens. Why worry about tomorrow when we still have the rest of the day to take care of, right?

PPS. Other songs of his that have hit me and my playlist hard are: The Remedy, Live High, Make It Mine… My other favorites too are: If It Kills Me, Geek in the Pink, Lucky, I’m Yours, Sleeping to Dream, Love (by Hope).

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2011, A Reflection of the Year that was… of Depression and of Contentment

As I try to recall the year that was–that is, 2011, it seems like a lot of things had happened, both small and big. Thinking about it now, I couldn’t be more grateful enough. I am so blessed and now, I am in a place of contentment.

The start of my 2011 was a bit slow. I somehow agree to what I’ve read in my horoscope, that things would start its pace by the latter part of the year and I just had to be patient. True enough, it did.

For the 1st half of my year, I became really busy and my focus was more on my responsibilities outside my current world. To expound further, I was very much distracted from work with my “day-dream job”. Oh, it’s still not specific, isn’t it? To put it out straight, being an expat here in Dubai, I am physically present at work and outside work, but my focus was more in fulfilling the responsibilities of our non-profit/fan group in the Philippines (Incubus Street Team Philippines). I work here in Dubai as an engineer, but during those times, I just resent my job! I mean, not a day has passed by without me saying “I hate this job, if it weren’t only for the money.” Now, as for the “day-dream job”, though I wasn’t in the Philippines, I could say that I was the point person of the street team–like a project manager (?). My very-much-hidden obsessive-compulsive character just went out. Always sending emails, making calls, searching for sponsors/contacts, and arranging for different things. It may be easy to read: Tree Planting Activity (much credits to Onang), Shirt Projects (much credits to Anna), getting the team in place, and the big one: Pre-Concert/Post Album Launch Fund Raising GIG Party, plus a lot more! But it was a lot of work. And yes, it was “work” for us–only we weren’t earning anything (not that any of us mind). Labor of love. What started as me/us being a fan of Incubus led us to do activities that isn’t about us being “just us” anymore. It was really very rewarding.

Time flew by without us realizing it. It was fun and sweet and tiring all at the same time. Somewhere in between months during this period, I flew in and out of the country back home, wherein my focus was more of our group’s activities. In a total of being home for 4 weeks (i flew back to Manila twice in a span of 2 months!!), I was mostly with the street team. I’ve met with my HS friends once, my extended family a few times, and mostly hung out with my family at home. Daytime, if I wasn’t on the PC, I was with the team’s meeting. It felt like an events job for me, but it was very rewarding. I felt really happy the moment we successfully did it. Just happy. Blissful. And yes, we got to meet the band Incubus in person. Cherry on top of the cake. YES.

But after all these, when I went back to Dubai, leaving everything and everyone behind… I felt depressed. I felt bad. I felt really lost. I hated my job even more–knowing that with the right team, we can successfully throw a successful event. That’s the career that I felt was really right for me. I hated it even more because I know that my current job pays well compared to the risk that I am still not willing to take. My everyday job felt even more boring, because I had to deal with the daily tasks. No more “street team” job to do. I was still pushing through, but no one was in pace anymore.

Next, I felt like everyday was the typical day and there’s really nothing to look forward to. “What’s the reason behind all these? Fine, I work to earn… Then what’s next? We’re all going to die anyway.” No, I never thought of killing myself. But I just wished to die really early… that if I die at that time, it’s okay since nothing was relevant anyway.

Much more, my family in the Philippines (excluding one of my sisters) was going to migrate to the US. I thought to myself, it would be a long shot for us to be altogether again… Like, when will we celebrate my birthday with all of us in one place? What about their birthdays? And the Christmas holidays? I felt really guilty for not being able to spend time with them when I was on vacation… for prioritizing the “fan” in me, the street team member rather than allotting time to spend with my family. I remember, before I left home, I hugged my mom and cried, telling her: “I don’t wanna leave anymore. I don’t wanna go back there.” But still I left. I had to. That’s life.

Days went by and I was living it like as if I was already dead. I was waiting for time to really fly by really fast… For it to fast forward. I was doing things at a routine just for the sake of being occupied… The whole time that I was depressed, I preferred to just stay home, watch movies, clean up and do basic chores once in a while. I resent everyday and declined each invitation. I knew that I was lucky and should be grateful, but at that time, I just didn’t know the purpose of it all. I find it meaningless. I sort of closed my heart subconsciously, not knowing that it would make me empty. Until one day: I went out with friends.

I can’t remember how it all happened, but the depression sort of just went away. I was content of just living life, one day at a time. I enjoyed the food that I eat, couldn’t care less about spending, and was just okay. I enjoyed my friends’ company very much and I looked forward to spending more time with them. I sort of changed. I became more oriented with my tasks and responsibilities. I became more inspired of what life could offer, whether it be big or small.

I ate out on weekends with friends. Became excited of the Friday brunch, the afternoon walks, and the late night house drinking party. I just gave in to the feeling of being content.

Work, I didn’t mind at all. I worked and get annoyed from time to time, but I just let it go. I did not let it bother me the way it used to. I just say “fffff what the heck!” then move on in a snap.

When I discovered a soothing music, the one which made me light, floating, and happy (a huge shoutout to Jason Mraz’s music), I tuned in to it. It made me think and reflect even more… It made me realize to just live and not worry about tomorrow.

Last November, I traveled again and realized even more how lucky I am to be at a place where I am at right now. Not all people could have the opportunities that came along my way. I became more open and receptive of others. I allowed myself to let them come inside my heart… and for that, I allowed myself subconsciously to move out of that depression and to just live.

I’ve learned when to let things strike me, and what or who are allowed to hit me hard (figuratively). Simple term: I learned when to be affected and when to not care at all. It’s simple yet hard to explain, but I learned how to be more grateful and appreciative of what is in front of me right now, and how to brush off everything else.

Care? I still do, I think I care even more. Emotional? Yes, still a lot. Depressed? Not anymore, and I don’t intend to be.

I remember talking to Adrian, a guy I crossed paths with on my trip to Amsterdam, about him wanting to study Philosophy. He’s of the same age as mine, 27. He used to do the same job as I and he understands how my work somehow makes me grumpy (I told him that my job has attributed a LOT to my grumpy character at work). He told me that it’s why he decided to study again, coz that wasn’t for him… And he just finished his 2nd degree and now he’s traveling for a few months now… And he intends to study again: Philosophy. We talked about those things and a lot of other stuff to, then he said somewhere along that “if you think about it, we’re still lucky. Not all people could do what we’re doing right now.” And indeed, he is correct.

He somehow inspired me too, to move forward. Meeting him and meeting a lot of people along the way in my previous travels have inspired me in a lot of different aspects.

Reflecting on the year that was, 2011, is just very inspiring for me. It might sound simple and probably my depression sounds a bit lame for some, but experiencing that made me appreciate what I have right now in my life. I’m seeing things differently with a whole new perspective.

I wanna study again, and I am still unsure of what it is. I wanna travel freely knowing when to worry, and when not to. I wanna change careers and not worry about the stability of the wage that enters my pocket. I wanna live life and smile when I hear good music, even though it doesn’t relate to any of my previous experiences at all. I look forward to the day that I could spend with those I’ve left behind back home, my friends and of course, my family. I look forward to seeing myself in their pictures and just being there with them. I am excited to the things that are in store for me by the year of 2012.

I am looking forward to 2012, but I am not rushing to the time that I can get to do those things again. I have a not-so-vague idea when those things would happen, but for now, I’ll take one day at a time. Until I figure out what I am going to do tomorrow and accomplish it by end of day, then that’s the time I’ll think of what’s in store the day after.

As I leave 2011 and move forward to 2012 in 3 days, I’d like to share with you some of the lines that make my heart jump, my mind tingle, and my eyes and lips smile… These lines are such a mood setter and I believe has definitely helped me feel better with life.

“Live High, Live Mighty, Live Righteously, Taking it Easy…” — Jason Mraz with Live High

“I won’t worry my life away” — Jason Mraz with the Remedy

“I don’t wanna wake before the dream is over, I’m gonna make it mine… Yes I, I know it” — Jason Mraz with Make it Mine

May everyone have a prosperous, inspiring, and a Happy New Year! Appreciate yourself and be grateful, then you’ll be content.  Be content, and happiness will follow. Live, Be Content, and Love… Everything will fall into the right place the moment we allow ourselves to let them in our hearts.

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have you ever floated? i think i am floating

and i am content. does that mean i am happy? maybe i am. i feel light, free, and just content with the life i have right now. i couldn’t care less about what would happen tomorrow, and i don’t wanna even think about “thinking about it” at all. i know some things are bound to happen, but i don’t wanna think about it now.

i somehow feel like i am also in love… not to a person but to a lot of things–not the material ones. more of, the thoughts, ideas, the music, the vision, with life.

the world is so beautiful. life is beautiful. and yes, i am in love… i am floating. are you?

by the way, i am currently listening to jason mraz’s songs: the world as i see it, sleep all day, and sleeping to dream 🙂 oh yes ME floats even more. good music helps us to float higher.

x

ps. no bubble popping please 😛

it’s almost 1 am, so i think it’s fair to leave you guys with this song: Sleep All Day

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I Won’t Worry My Life Away

is one of the lines in Jason Mraz’s song the Remedy.

Again, here’s another feel good music and a light & freeing lyrics that I’d like to share with everyone… I honestly feel light, happy, and free just recalling this song, especially, that line. 🙂 I hope you guys do too!

Let’s try to live our lives with less worries. Life’s too short to worry!

“The tragedy is how you’re gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
Well it all amounts to nothing in the end”

“And I won’t worry my life away”

Rest when you need to, and stop worrying. Worrying won’t do you anything.

The Remedy (from http://www.lyrics007.com)

Well I saw fireworks from the freeway
And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away
’cause you were born on the 4th of July (freedom ring)
Well something on the surface it stings
I said something on the surface
Well it kinda makes me nervous
To say that you deserve this
And what kind of God would serve this
We would cure this dirty old disease
Well, if you gots the poison
I gots the remedy

[Chorus]
The remedy is the experience
This is the dangerous liaison (I says)
The comedy is that it’s serious
This is a strange enough new play on words
I say the tragedy is how you’re gonna spend
The rest of your nights with the light on
So shine the light on all of your friends
Well it all amounts to nothing in the end

[Bridge]
And I won’t worry my life away
Hey hey hey, oh oh
I won’t worry my life away
Hey hey hey, oh oh

Well I heard 2 men talking on the radio
In a cross-fire kind of new reality show
Uncovering the ways to plan the next big attack
Well they were counting down the ways to stab a brother in the Be right back after this
The unavoidable kiss
With the minty fresh death breath is sure to outlast this catastrophe
Dance with me
Well if you gots the poison, I gots the remedy

[Chorus]

[Bridge]

When I fall in love, I take my time
There’s no need to hurry when I’m making up my mind
You can turn off the sun, but I’m still gonna shine
And I’ll tell you why
Because

[Chorus]

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Feel Good with Music, Thanks to Jason Mraz!

Is there any particular music that you are listening to right now? No, let me be more specific. What album or song/s have been in your constant playlist for the past few hours, days, weeks, or even months?  Mine would be Jason Mraz’ album “We Eat, We Dance, We Steal Things.” And among all these songs, my favorites are “If It Kills Me” and “Make It Mine”. To be honest, I wasn’t even able to recall the album title. Sometimes, I feel like it’s “We Eat, We Pray, We Love” or something like “We Eat,…”. Yes, I get lost after the “eat” part. But I don’t think that really matters. I love the entire album, that’s what is important.

The album, for me, is a feel good album. Jason Mraz is such a good lyricist that for me, he was able to capture optimism, gratitude, love,  a bit of a sadness, and happiness. Whenever I listen to this album, it just makes me stop, think, smile, and feel comfortable. His songs has never failed to touch my soul. Some songs even give me butterflies in my stomach. The melody is just genius and it’s very pleasing to the ears. I can’t help but smile and feel love and optimism floating around while I’m thinking about his songs, the way I feel about them, much more that I’m currently listening to them. 🙂

I can’t help but compare how I feel with this album to the way I do with others. For some album of a different artist (that I shall call artist X) that I really like, I tend to get moody. I don’t know why, but I get bitchy sometimes with Artist X’s album. But everytime I listen to “We Eat, We Dance, We Steal Things”, my mood really changes, like as if I am a feather, like I am floating. 🙂

The songs that I really love are:

If It Kills Me – it’s about a man madly in love with his best friend. However, he can’t find a chance to tell her, too afraid of the risk he’s about to take if he tells her.

Make It Mine – it’s about pursuing a dream, celebrating the whole world, just grasping it all.

Other songs that I do recommend are I’m Yours, Live High, Lucky, and Love for a Child.

Try and listen to the whole album, or atleast to the songs I’ve mentioned, and let me know how you feel. I hope you feel good with it too! 🙂

Here’s a video of one of my favorites 😀  (not my property: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ync5Ak4qKs)

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